I continue to be shocked by how my body knows what?s going on with my head before my head does. I know, I know, your head is part of your body, but that?s easy to forget in our world of Western medicine, where emotional problems are treated as completely separate issues from physical ones, right down to having to download different insurance claim forms and pay exorbitant deductibles.
You can spend years and big bucks going from doctor to doctor trying to figure out why you don?t feel right in a physical sense when the problem is, you just don?t feel right in an emotional sense! I was unhappy in my marriage for several years?something I was of course aware of and vigorously trying to address. I didn?t even consider that my unhappiness was at the root of why my body was such a wreck. I was ?on it,? I reasoned, so I ruled my unhappiness out as a possible cause of my physical symptoms.
And there were a lot of them: I was exhausted, my hair was thinning, my skin zitty and dry (gotta love that combination!) and my neck and knees hurt. I was a few pounds north of where I am now, had stomach problems and felt like a big pile of blech. I saw endocrinologists, dermatologists, gastroenterologists and a sports medicine doctor. Tests were done; results were borderline but never pointed to anything definitive that could be treated or ?cured? with a pill, shot or dietary change. My symptoms were variously written off to heredity, age and my imagination. I was singlehandedly responsible for a spike in the cost of health care in the years 2003 to 2010.
Clearly these are all signs of stress?unhappiness?s first cousin?but I was doing what I could, in a Band-Aid kind of way. I exercised and did yoga, I tried to be social, saw a therapist and wrote in my journal. These all helped on a day-to-day basis, but in retrospect, they barely kept me putting one foot in front of the other.
Eventually, things came to a head in my marriage and my husband and I separated. The stress of that cannot be overstated. Again, my body was my arbiter. I lost 15 pounds (which sounds cool but it?s truly not when you don?t intend it) and even more hair.
But within six weeks, many of my physical symptoms magically resolved. First, I noticed that I had energy again and my neck and knees stopped hurting. Once I was able to sleep and eat again, my digestion went back to normal and my skin cleared up. My hair eventually stopped shedding, and when I put a few pounds back on, I felt like me again. Of course, I still get stressed, but it doesn?t feel like it?s grinding me down. I haven?t seen a doctor (except for my mammogram and regular physical) in a year.
I?m not saying everyone should run out and dump their spouse, quit their jobs or put their kids up for adoption, if that?s what?s causing them stress. But I do hope you?re asking yourself the big question I wouldn?t allow myself to ask: Is my current life one that is compatible with feeling happy? It?s a scary question, no doubt, but one I am so grateful I was able to eventually ask.
How happy are you in your life??
Pin ItAbout Stephanie Dolgoff, Best Life contributor
Stephanie went into writing and editing right out of college in 1989 because-true story-she became convinced that it was the only salaried field in which she would not have to wear control top pantyhose to work. And she did not! Later, she realized she could get away with wearing sweatpants if she worked at home. That led to her writing her national bestselling book, My Formerly Hot Life: Dispatches from Just the Other Side of Young, based on her blog Formerlyhot.com, which came out in 2010. Stephanie is currently a contributing editor at Fitness. Before that, she was a contributing editor at Real Simple, health director and features director at SELF magazine, and prior to that, executive editor and senior contributing editor at Glamour. She has written for O, The Oprah Magazine, Fitness, Health, Parents, Parenting, Redbook, Seventeen, CosmoGirl, Ladies Home Journal, Prevention, American Photo, and many others.
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Source: http://members.thebestlife.com/blog/divorce-it-does-a-body-good/
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